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A (twenty-something year old) Woman's Guide To A Bunch of Dating Apps (vol. 2)
New year new beginnings. If you made resolutions around your love life, you may find yourself a little overwhelmed by all the ways you...
New year new beginnings. If you made resolutions around your love life, you may find yourself a little overwhelmed by all the ways you can meet new people nowadays. Pimping ain’t easy. The number of apps has exploded. But which one is right for you? Let’s dig in.
How It Works:
Old faithful Tinder is the original of the dating apps having been on the radar for the longest. I wrote a blurb about Tinder here way back when which still stands pretty much. Swipe right for yes and left for no.
My experience of Tinder is one of frequent matches and very few conversations whereas my bestie S has frequent matches and frequent conversations but few dates. I have no idea what makes people message or not so if you guys know then holler. Recent changes to the app include a daily cap on right swiping, super likes, and paying options. I’d love for matches to expire after a period of time. 2 years of Tindering and nearly 2,000 matches later means there’s a lot of ‘staleness’ on the app.
How It Works:
Hinge used to comb through your Facebook connections and present you with 5-10 potential matches a day made up of single friends of friends and friends of friends of friends etc. These days, it's any ol' rando determined by your search criteria. It also used to be that if you like you heart and if they heart you back then either party has 24 hours to send the first message. If no one does then your match disappears back into the pool of potential matches. They did away with the deadline element and now when you send a like, the other person gets told you like them and they can respond or ignore you.
I used to like the time sensitive element of the app as it kept the match list quite tidy but it didn't make much difference with the the likelihood of a conversation happening. I did an experiment where I spent one week sending out the max number of likes (5 per day). There were no responses so the only possible conclusion is that not every place is for everyone.
How It Works:
When I heard about Bumble I was super excited. Here you swipe as usual (right for yes, left for no) but when you match, only the woman can send the first message and she has 24 hours to do so. I believe they also make some sort of charitable donation for every first message women send out but don't quote me on that.
So only the woman can message first. Great right? That is until you realise as a woman that making the first move is hard! I take back all the times I was harsh on a “Hello” opening message. My biggest issue with Bumble is that I just don't trust that the profiles are real or that the profiles are recent so it feels a bit spammy. The most matches I got on bumble in one day was around 20 or so and none replied to my opening message. Maybe it's me...?
How It Works:
The app uses your location and tells you when you cross paths with another app user. If you like the user, you click heart. If you don’t, ignore or click the x. When you match, you chat.
Despite being active on social media and blogging, I do still value privacy and the app can sometimes overshare imho. If you’re at home and someone walks past your front door with the app on their phone, they’ll see that you both crossed paths and an exact map of where. Obviously if you’re in a public space that’s fine but if not then not so much. I haven't actually used Happn in a couple of years but I do remember that it was the app with the best looking men – not sure what the girls look like but if I’m anything to go by then the women must be superb.
Other apps I've tried are The League (not for me) and Coffee Meets Bagel but the quality on there was AWFUL and the app itself was extremely limited at the time. If you’re going to restrict me to one match a day, make it a good one. I was not a fan at all and it was deleted after a couple of weeks.
I hope that helps you guys in your quest for love etc. Have I missed any out? Hook me up!
And remember, you won’t find love by using the 'right' app. If watching my wonderful friends fall in love through the years have taught me anything, it's that it’s about being at the right place at the same time as the right person at the right time for both of you. All we can do is put ourselves out there, apps just help you widen your net that much further.
Did I miss any?
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